Let’s face it: love is in the air, and you don’t have any. Or maybe you do have some love, but it’s not the kind you once imagined and certainly not the kind you’re happy in. Nobody else seems like they’re in the same boat, though. One might be oblivious, innocent, as they walk into a stairwell during their obligatory stroll around the school, when they stumble upon an intimate scene. We see hands entwined, admiring gazes, kisses exchanged before the instigators are forced to part ways. Two thoughts emerge—gross, get a room and get a room before I get one myself to cry in. Even worse, the issue becomes exacerbated with the approach of Valentine’s Day, the mushiest day of the whole year. On February 14th, there will be legions of lovers descending upon our halls, carrying bouquets, jewelry, heart-shaped boxes, and excited smiles. There will be baskets upon baskets loaded with candy, Hello Kitty plushies, chips, and other evidence of love and care. For those who will not have a Valentine this year, here are some steps to take to avoid completely spiraling on Valentine’s Day.
No, You Don’t Need a Lover
First, take a step back and remember that a significant other does not hold the key to a happy and fulfilled life. This should theoretically be the immediate realization at the onslaught of envy, but sometimes during tough times we lose hold on rationality, and that’s okay. But please, try to find love somewhere other than another person. This does not mean finding love in oneself, because that is difficult at all stages of life and when we are most vulnerable, that’s a high challenge to tackle. So, watch a movie. If you’d like to brainstorm about your future relationship, watch something fun and romantic like The Virgin Suicides, Jennifer’s Body, or Donnie Darko. Read a book or watch a show. Hug yourself and try to feel alright in the present situation. Simply do something that makes you forget the empty feeling of trudging through life without someone to carry you. In fact, that sentiment is often unfounded, since there is always someone to carry us.
Find Love That Isn’t Romantic
Valentine’s Day is the time of year to honor love, and not simply that between two lovers. There is love in parents, in friends who also feel alone, in people we encounter every once in a while who make the day just a bit better. There is love in our pets, who exist for the cuddles that we can’t give to someone else. So, look for outlets to express the endless love you have to give. Get a sweet treat with a friend—you both need it. Offer to help your parents with chores—they will appreciate it. Hug your child, or pet, whatever you call it, since pets will always comfort you at your lowest—as long as you keep buying their favorite treats.
Care for yourself
Perhaps every article about surviving Valentine’s Day will prescribe its readers a self-care day, and this one is no exception. Of course, not every person is equipped with the highest luxuries of food, skincare, or time, but if Valentine’s Day teaches us anything, it’s how to make the best of what we have. Order your favorite food, or spend some time attempting to make it yourself (Note: the Legal Pad is not responsible for any disasters that result from failed cooking attempts). Turn on some music and stare at the wall. Maybe the music should be joyful and positive, but it doesn’t have to be. If you need to cry, then turn on something sappy or depressing and let it all out. If you need to simply jam out, hit play on your favorite tunes and again, let loose. Turn on a show, like Gilmore Girls or Smallville, and be happy. Wear comfortable clothes, or clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Take care to do your skincare routine thoroughly, although you don’t need it, beautiful. Do whatever makes you feel like a warm hand is holding your own, even while you’re alone.
Or not. Sometimes people do need to feel despondent about life and love and other things that also matter. The point is that this time of year doesn’t matter too much. Relationships end, people move on. Sometimes, relationships continue and bloom. We have no control over when we meet the right one. So the next time that annoyed feeling in your head and heart becomes too heavy, remember that this too shall pass, and you will find some fulfillment somewhere else, some sense of belonging that isn’t in another person’s arms.
