What Rory Gilmore Means to Us

In the nearly 25 years since its premiere, Gilmore Girls has solidified its status as the quintessential comfort show, as warm and welcoming as a cup of coffee from Luke’s Diner. During the fall and winter seasons, swarms of viewers flock to Netflix to be transported to Stars Hollow, the fictional Connecticut town where the show takes place. The idyllic small town, complete with green spaces and charming small businesses, reflects the impeccable, fairy-tale nature of its inhabitants’ lives. In fact, one of Gilmore Girls’ most defining traits is its inherent escapism. Viewers watch Rory Gilmore’s teenage years unfold, eventually waving goodbye as she enters her post-university life. Her dreams are fulfilled, starting when she is accepted to a prestigious school named Chilton Academy, which her mother, the fast-talking Lorelai, cannot pay for until she asks her parents for a monetary loan. They grant her the loan, merely asking in return that the four have weekly dinners. Rory is fawned over by boys and Ivy League universities, her friends are deeply loyal, and she ascends the ladder at her university’s newspaper. With the exception of Rory’s own mistakes, her life appears perfect. We watch in wide-eyed admiration as a beautiful girl glides through existence with wit, charm, and a loving community; we rack our brains trying to embody the idea Rory Gilmore represents. Social media apps hold testimonies of teenagers studying for their next test, taking a walk in the town square, and reading a book, all hoping to become Rory Gilmore. She represents an amalgamation of beauty, intelligence, charm, and humor, so much so that she serves as a blueprint for those who wish to be as unwavering in the face of academic pressure, as fiercely intelligent while leading a peaceful life.

     By having a clear window into Rory Gilmore’s life, viewers feel they are part of, or even living it. Rory’s success feels achievable to the viewers if they put their minds to it. Rory is sought after by boys who polarize viewers to this day, yet all of her prospects are, in the viewer’s mind, their own prospects as well. She and her mother dress stylishly without seeming vain, they find time for a hearty breakfast at Luke’s Diner each day, where Luke plays a second-father role for Rory and circles in a will-they-won’t-they relationship with Lorelai. Rory studies without a hint of boredom tainting her pristine brain, one filled with knowledge over everything from Russian authors to the latest celebrity gossip. She balances the scale, refusing to veer into the stereotype of the vapid teenager or the know-it-all loner. One might describe her personality as introverted but without any sliver of real isolation or angst. We question her intent and wonder why she is so similar to ourselves, yet much more refined. Rory’s life can be summarized with the word “fantasy,” yet that is not crushing. Viewers may desire all she has, and might even wish they could step into her shoes, but ultimately we watch from a distance, press our hands against the screen, and resolve to get there someday, and, if not, at least keep watching.

     Of course, it is not always easy to merely press our hands against the barrier and not attempt to smash through it. As mentioned, viewers often take Rory’s experience as a blueprint for success. Echoes of her soft voice persist as students enroll in the most difficult AP classes, apply to the most renowned schools, and purchase sweaters with any remote resemblance to the iconic item she wore in the first episode. Various paths aspiring Rory’s follow: one path leads to career success, another leads to a calm, married life, and this other one leads to overachievement-induced failure. It’s true, Rory doesn’t always embody the impeccable role model. She sometimes disregards her friends, dabbles in extramarital affairs, and at some point, her once-blazing ambition fizzles out into home insecurity and unfortunate interviews. The flower-embroidered curtain is pulled back the more one watches the show, revealing the true Rory who makes mistakes but is undoubtedly human. We are forced to consider  that the character we pedestaled is not as perfect as we believed. She, like us, makes damning mistakes and is forced to pick up the pieces and, like ourselves, that is completely okay.

     The point is that Rory Gilmore should not be anyone’s standard for success, in the same vein that no fictional character should be. Bypassing realism, Gilmore Girls survives on its escapist qualities. Indeed, part of why the show is considered a fall classic is because of the irresistible combination of its visual appeal and plot and the cozy atmosphere of the season. One can swaddle in a blanket, curl up on their couch with a warm cup of coffee, and fall into a portal to another dimension. In that dimension, there is no crime or real fear of financial burdens, but there are loving neighbors, lifelong friends, career growth, and a unique sense of belonging. When ready, we can return to the real world with a renewed love for life. We have seen what we needed to, and now we can go about our day. It’s simple—Gilmore Girls is not a romanticization of life, but a reflection of what we want from it. We want the brains, the beauty, the trust in other people, the fulfillment of our dreams. It just so happened that Gilmore Girls kept all these desires safe in its 40-minute episodes, prepared for when we need to look into the well and be restored to our true forms: happy, hopeful, and loved.