The thought of journeying through the walkways of Northpark Center at any point after 11AM sounds as appealing as walking against a wall of enemy soldiers whilst suffering mobility issues. As joyful as it is to pass squealing blonde friend groups and families on their day off, there is no greater terror than braving the mall crowds at midday on a Saturday. On the days when one wishes to eat lunch at Eataly or purchase a new symptom of consumerism at Urban Outfitters, they are forced to confront a monster: the inevitable Northpark crowds.
You Are Not Alone
First off, this is a safe space—let us acknowledge that we’ve all been there. You’re trying to walk from one store to another—it could be as close as Nike and the LEGO Store or as far as Sephora and Levi’s—when your heart begins to constrict at the sinking feeling that the entire Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex decided to rally on your day off. A day of supposed relaxation has suddenly become a nightmare. Luckily, there are a few nifty ways that one could avoid completely losing their mind at Northpark.
Carry Wealth—or Some Cash, at Least
One of the most disheartening parts of a trip to Northpark is realizing that the best items are the most expensive. A universal experience of Dallas life is window-shopping at Northpark, an activity that is not done in practice for restrained fashion-appreciation but is instead an attempt at circumventing that awful truth that one’s pockets have not been as full as they could be. As they say, beauty is pain, and that pain is the feeling of disappointment at prowling the corridors at Sephora, which seem to carry makeup solely for the oligarch.
So, be sure to accumulate a hefty amount of cash before your next Northpark trip. Only then can a shopper comfortably enjoy a silver necklace at Pandora or a nice pair of bootcut jeans at Buckle. In essence, If the world were suddenly cartoon-ified and one’s wallet would open to reveal a barrage of tumbleweeds, they may as well forgo that mall trip altogether. Instead, clock in for a shift and get to work!
Look Forward to the Afterparty
Anyone who gets exhausted in social situations will be familiar with the afterparty: a retreat into bed. One way to endure a few hours of sloshing around a pit of busy shoppers is knowing that a home and a bed await you. Plan to lie down, turn on a show, and let the tension of the mall subside.
Ascend Your Mortal Body
It is a very human thing to disappear during times of stress. Bumping bodies, clashing perfumes, narrow corridors, voices screaming at each other over the commotion that they perpetuate. Personally, I try to forget that I am a person while I walk between stores at Northpark. I walk straight ahead and quickly, blur the faces around me, and become a ghost without emotion.
It helps to become something else during those moments when the breathtaking anxiety piles up and topples over into terror in a crowd and rigidly avoidant eye contact. It is not despicable to be unconventional. That is why I advocate for disconnecting the mind and the body during emergencies, because sometimes the mind needs a moment to itself and that should be acceptable. Let it ascend from the constraints of the brain and guide you through the crowd, like a lilypad through an empty pond.
So, the next time you’re planning an outing to NorthPark Center, be sure to take these useful steps to avoid completely losing your marbles. Sure, there may be fear in big crowds and loud noises, but there is also an opportunity to confront your fears. The constriction in your heart is not terror, but adrenaline. Use that adrenaline to soldier through those crowds and treat yourself to a piece of broken, expensive furniture at Anthropologie. And, if all else fails, hold out for the sweet relief of your bed. That is what saves me, and what will hopefully save many other viscerally-uncomfortable introverts, too.
